We all have it, that relationship that is just harder than it ought to be. That person in our life who doesn’t love us the way we love them, that makes it clear that no matter what we ever say or do they will never be our friend while at the same time also making it clear that they have expectations of us, even though they refuse to acknowledge when we have fulfilled any of them. Why?

I ask myself this all the time. Nothing destructive has happened between us. Instead, we have enough in common that it should be easy. It should be a given that we can trust each other, talk to each other, or at the very least give each other grace in our imperfections; but, it’s all one-sided. Why, God? Why?

Is it possible that they are actually being exactly what I need? No! That could never be the case, could it? How? How could this ever be beneficial to me???

When I first had this realization it kind of upset me. Then I started to think about the amount of personal growth I have experienced through it all—humility, patience, loving the unlovely, consistency, sacrificial giving (expecting nothing in return).

Is it possible to stop seeing that person as someone who hurts and rejects me and start seeing them as someone God gave to me? Is this something that I need in order to learn to walk more deeply in humility and love?

Truth is, I will always hope to feel accepted, befriended, and loved by all those that I have in my life. But, I’m only responsible for my life, my growth, my testimony. So many changes have taken place in my heart over the years and I’ve grieved deeply over mistakes I have made. Maybe it’s just my turn to be the one to extend the grace needed for them to grow.

Since I can’t see through their eyes, I may never know if they “see” me at all. But, if they do, what I truly hope they see is His heart toward them and not the painful rejection that I feel. Only His heart can change them. After all, a heart that is filled with joy, celebration, and forgiveness toward us is something we all desire and need.

The fact of the matter is that Jesus loves us just like we are! Ironically, that’s the very thing that changes us. Maybe His love through me can also bring change, but I’ll never know unless there’s something that needs to change. Maybe I need this so that I can grow in my ability to love like Jesus! … It doesn’t mean they are right in their attitudes and actions, but it does mean He’s using the situation for my benefit—PERSPECTIVE, PEOPLE, PERSPECTIVE!

If you have any thoughts on this subject, I’d love to hear them. Please leave your comment below and…

Let’s Grow Together!